Guatemala

Guatemala *overdue*

2 Corinthians 3:16-18, “But when one turns to the Lord, the veil is removed. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we all, with unveiled face, beholding the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit.”

I’m just going to start by saying the world race is wild. Sometimes I feel like I’m living in a completely different world. My team and I are seeing and experiencing insane things. Never in my life have I been more confident in the existence of God. Never in my life have I felt so much freedom from strongholds. Never in my life have I felt the Holy Spirit change me in the ways I’ve been changed. We’re only 2 months in and I already know my life will never be the same.

With all that being said, Guatemala is a place I will remember forever. It will be marked as a place of revelation and growth. I’ve been learning a lot and I will do my best to encapsulate a handful of things God has revealed to me over the past month. For quick context, my whole squad has been together for the past two weeks. We have been staying in a hostel together in Antigua, Guatemala for debrief and trainings. This dedicated time has been set aside to rest and properly prepare for Romania. It has been SO fun connecting with the whole squad again!

Sooo…. my previous blog explained some of the freedom I experienced through training camp. If you haven’t read it, go check it out lol. Long story short, God bulldozed walls I built up. He truly removed my heart of stone and replaced it with a heart of flesh. I was able to finally let go of past pain and move forward in my walk with Christ. It was so freeing, but I could tell more was coming. God was preparing the way for a deeper layer of healing.

Last week, one of our squad leaders led a session on sharing testimonies. We were encouraged to really sit with the Lord and ask him to reveal patterns in our life. How has the enemy attacked us and used our life circumstances against us? Does he consistently target the same areas in our lives? What lies have we been believing about ourselves and God? This was the very first time I had ever sought answers to these questions. As I sat quietly in thought, I quickly picked up on the pattern of disappointment & loss in my life.

Once I recognized the pattern, a lot of things started connecting and making sense. A couple weeks leading up to this session I was noticing a significant amount of fear associated with fully surrendering my life over to Christ. I desired to, but at the same time felt like it might not be worth it. Different thoughts would pop in and say, “If you fully surrender everything, you’ll end up disappointed. When you surrender the things you love, they’ll be taken away. Just wait and see, when you give everything to Jesus, you’ll regret it.” To be honest, I have been battling these kinds of thoughts for as long as I can remember, but the fear associated with them seemed heightened in comparison to normal. Now, back to the testimony session…. as I’m contemplating the pattern that had just been revealed to me, I’m starting to understand why my brain was regularly battling against the fear of more loss and disappointed. The enemy has been using my life circumstances against me. He started planting lies in mind as a kid and they have continued to grow into legitimate strongholds. The crazy part is, I didn’t even know they existed until now.

The next day I met with Joy, one of our coaches. I really wanted freedom from these strongholds, but wasn’t really sure if that was possible. Big S/O to Joy for her wisdom and patience lol. God spoke through this woman and used her to open my eyes. All of this heightened fear ultimately stemmed from the lie, “God will disappoint me.” I felt sick saying that one out loud. Joy walked me through repentance and prayer against the agreement I have made with this lie. In that moment, another huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. It was beautiful.

I wondered if I would feel the same way after a couple days… sure enough, I did and still do! I still notice thoughts pop in my mind, but they immediately disappear. It literally feels like the Holy Spirit is activity fighting on my behalf and completely taking over my mind. It is so cool! 

Moral of the story….

God isn’t the author of disappointment & he helps fight your battles.

If you are reading this blog right now, I want to encourage you. You don’t have to be a slave to strongholds and lies. You don’t have to be a slave to anxiety and fear. That is not your portion. Not only does God grants us the gift of salvation, but he also grants us healing and deliverance. It IS possible to live in so much fullness and freedom.

Anywayyy, I technically wrote this blog over a week ago. Since then, a lot has happened… including team changes, getting a new team role (i’m now the team leader instead of the treasurer), losing my passport, getting stranded in Germany for 4 days, and then finally getting settled in Romania lol. I plan on writing about my little adventure in Germany shortly. It was wild lol. Until then, please keep my team in your prayers. Romania is known as the witchcraft capital of the world. It’s spiritually heavy and we have been told to prepare for a lot of spiritual warfare. I am excited to start walking in the authority I know I have through Jesus. My squad has been preparing so well. We’re ready!

I want to close with a quick thank you to all my supporters. I am so so grateful for each and every one of you. I am currently living the life I always desired, but never knew was possible. I’m living in community with people who fiercely love and serve each other. I’m being discipled and led by the most incredible coaches and mentors. We’re all experiencing freedom in Christ and walking in joy and fulfillment. And if that isn’t enough, we’re traveling the world and seeing God’s mighty hand move throughout the global church. I love the World Race. It is the most beautiful gift.

Enjoy the pictures!